Friday 4 March 2011

Red light, green light

You would think I would know the difference by now. I have never ever zoned out while driving. Ever. Never even come close to falling asleep. I'm always quite alert when it comes to driving. Especially now with having Cam in the car. Except for today. Now don't panic, we didn't even come close to an accident but it totally shocked me as I drove through a red light. Luckily, it was only a one way intersection on Wellington where the only problem could have been if a pedestrian was crossing at the time. Luckily there was no one. And luckily, there were no cops around to see me (even though I was right in front of Parliament) Phew. I was completely embarrassed though. I was one of those people that I shake my head at every time I see something like that. Now I am the fool. I entered this zone and was thinking about how Cam is going to be once we leave for our trip and his grandparents have to feed him for 5 days. You see he will only take a bottle from me right now. It's so frustrating because I am in the process of weaning him from breastfeeding and as much as it's working, he doesn't like to be fed from others - including James sometimes. This isn't how it's supposed to go. I just wanted to have a little bit more freedom sometimes - like to be able to go out in the evening to run errands once James comes home from work, but this hasn't been exactly how it has gone. We leave for NYC at the end of this month and Cam is not coming with us. It will be a time to relax, catch up and enjoy being away - just the two of us. I'm really looking forward to it, but I keep stressing about whether or not Cameron will take the bottle from grandma. It hasn't happened yet, but we keep trying. Now I know, that he is not going to starve and he will eat if he is hungry, but I can't help but still worry. I suppose the lesson here is, to not worry about something I have no control over, he is going to be just fine and will eat if he is hungry. No need to start missing what is right in front of me as I tune out the world as someday, it might get me into trouble.

Until next time,
Care

3 comments:

  1. I am pretty sure that he will be okay once he realizes that while that Mommy isn't here Grandma's got the goods.

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  2. You're totally right - he will be just fine!

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  3. Been there, done that! Don't worry, he won't starve. He will figure it out when he is hungry enough. I know how you feel though, mentally, it is so hard even though logically you know it will be fine. I still struggle with guilt all the time and worry 24/7.

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