Say what?!

Some of the cutest things come from kids mouths, especially when they are learning new words. Cam, as some of you may know, is obsessed with cars and every other "mighty machine" so he has taken to even making the sounds they make. if you ask him what a car does or says, he will say, "beep, beep, beep" and make the motion of honking a horn. A digger goes, "dig, dig, dig" as he points repeatedly with his hand downwards. So he's got a bunch of the basics down but he is now starting to put some words together, to form a sentence. When Biscotti is up on the bathroom counter, tv stand or even a chair, Cam proceeds to yell "Get down now!" and points down to the ground. I wonder where he picked that up from. ;) I suppose now, the sensors really need to come out for James and I. We've already begun the spelling game. C-O-O-K-I-E is not a word we can use in our house too often, or else you better have one ready to give out to the little guy. Oh and it can only be the mint girl guide ones. Looks like James and I will be spelling that one until next year when they come back in season. lol

One other cute story to share from this weekend. Last night, James and I decided to walk over to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. As I am pushing Cam in the cart we had come to a stop in the aisle as some people were blocking the way, Cam decides to say, "beep, beep!" The woman beside us started to laugh as I acknowledge that he is indeed using it in the right context. Kids really do say the darndest things.  

Long time no post

Wow, it's been awhile! I don't really have that great of an excuse for not writing other than I got lazy. I'm going to try and make more of an effort to write more posts from now on. Life is busy and good, so there is no reason not to share what is going on. Cam is constantly changing and growing; it's such a great experience and adventure every day. I have been having these really strong mental thoughts lately about not wanting to let go of Cam. I think it all stemmed from my trip to Barcelona (well the one I was supposed to go on, but I'll explain that later). I was keeping busy with everything around me, that I didn't have much time to think about leaving and what it would be like to say farewell to Cam and James to go away for 10 days. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to think about it, cause every time someone would ask me if I was excited to, then the thoughts would slowly start to seep in about Cam's well being without me. I mean, don't get me wrong, James is a great, loving and caring father, but it's me that runs to Cam in the middle of the night when he cries. It's me he wants when he gets hurt. I'm the one to give him a bottle and tuck him in at night, so what would it be like when he discovers I'm not there to do any of it? The rationale part of me knows he would survive. The other side of me (the emotional side) would start to tear up thinking he needs me to be there for him and that I am failing him as a mother to always be there for him, for none other than the selfish reason of wanting to get away on a break. Knowing I would be across the world with no responsibilities and having fun in a city/country I have yet to discover felt almost wrong. Is that weird? All of a sudden future thoughts would flash through my head of Cam's first day of school, then letting him go to university and then, of course, marriage. My baby would soon be all grown up and gone before I know it. I now have felt the uncontrollable feeling of never wanting your baby to grow up. I want to hold him and never let go. As I was going through all my photos of Cam as a newborn and now as an 18 month old, I am in awe of how much he has grown up and changed in such a short time. I think this stage is my favourite. Seeing him discover and learn so many things right now brings the biggest smile to my face and makes my heart so filled with joy. He makes me laugh, cry and sometimes makes me frustrated, but these are the best days of my life, by far. Now as for my trip to Barcelona, I was supposed to leave Friday evening with a girl friend, but due to some unfortunate health complications, we had to cancel last minute. I am bummed, but it would have been terrible had we had left and she fell ill while there. I just hope she gets back to good health quickly. Sometimes the expression, "everything happens for a reason," sounds cliché, but I do believe it. Maybe I just wasn't supposed to go this time around. Cam is battling his first cough, so I couldn't imagine leaving him while he is feeling so bad. So, on Friday night, rather than spending it on a flight to the warm city of Barcelona, I spent it watching a Sens game with James, his dad and two brothers and Cam. Now, it's not my idea of the time of my life, but I still love spending time with family no what the occasion because they are the most important people in my life and I want Cam to grow up cherishing all of them. 


Care

Your friendly neighbourhood strangers

Today on my way home after picking up Cam from daycare, I experienced two random acts of kindness from complete strangers. It's not everyday that something like this happens, so I feel like I it deserves a post. As I left work, I saw the skies turning more and more grey and I knew this was not going to be great walking weather for a baby in a stroller. I actually got a ride to Cam's daycare from my Creative Director, Jake and I knew the moment he would drop me off, that it was going to start to down pour, and boy was I right. I had to wait on the steps of daycare before Cam and I could leave and once the rain tapered down, we started on our way. As we were walking a woman carrying an umbrella asked me if I wanted to walk under it as she was going my way. I told her thanks, but it's ok, I have an umbrella myself, but was more concerned about the lightning hitting us if I had it up. Then about 30 feet ahead I noticed a really nice audi pulled over to the side of the road and as I approached it closer, the man inside asked me if I wanted a ride home so I wouldn't be caught in the storm. Again, I declined the offer (not because he could have been a creep - cause I honestly believe he was just being nice) but I didn't have a car seat is what I told him and he said, that's ok, do you need to go far? I only had a few more blocks to go, so I was fine. Normally I haven't really experienced true random acts of kindness like this on the streets downtown, so it was really nice to have it happen all in my neighbourhood. I mean, not that I live in a crappy area, but you never know the things that could happen where you live. It made me feel good that there are still those friendly neighbourhood strangers out there willing to lend a helping hand, umbrella or car for that matter. ;)

A new PB!

Today was race day and all the while leading up to it, I wasn't nervous at all until yesterday. I was watching the 5k race start and all the runners going super fast and as I stood there, I could feel my heart pounding and butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't at all nervous until that moment, because I don't like to set a time for a goal. That being said, I tend to say that when I am training, thinking I can't run that fast and thinking that I am not really that competitive, but I think deep down, I am a little bit. My last race, I said the same thing. No set time, just completion as my goal, but like the last time, the last couple of days before race day, I always seem to say, "well, if I could only do it in such a such a time, I'd be happy." I completed my first half marathon in 2:05 and so after having a baby, I thought that I may be a bit slower this time around. To my surprise, I was actually faster. Even if it was only by 2 minutes, I am very happy that I now have a new PB. I kept repeating, "I can do this, I feel good. I'm going to make it!" An old friend had given me the advice that I am prepared physically for the race, but now just need to focus on the mental part. Going into the race this morning, I kept that in mind and sure enough, it worked! I am already thinking about my next race; and I hope to make it in under 2 hours. Should be some good training. Anyway, I should get to bed as I am completely exhausted and haven't stopped to take a break all day, but first here are some pics from after the race with my training buddy, Erin. We're just missing our other training buddy, Gail though. We all did amazing, so congrats to all the runners this weekend!

 

Working woman

It's been two and a half weeks since I started back to work and I must say it really does feel good. I knew it would be hard and a quite the adjustment after being off for the year, but everyday seems to get better and a little easier. I know there are going to be slip ups, like today, we were running a bit late. Cam got his first year needles and was a bit more clingy than he has been so it was a little bit of a challenge to get ready this morning with a baby attached to your leg at all times and the moment you put him aside, he starts to cry. Anyway, I am slowly starting to become more organized and have things ready to get out the door in good time. I am also back to walking to work and with that, I am pleased to say that almost all my old jeans are now fitting me again! It took awhile and I still have another five pounds to go before reaching my old weight, but I am almost there! It feels good and I am starting to feel like my old self again. With being back to work, I have this new feeling or sense of empowerment. I'm not sure if that's exactly how to describe it, but it just feels different. Maybe I feel more confidence. Before I would feel as though I couldn't do some things or feel the lack of knowledge or skills and I would also think that I wasn't good enough for some things at work. Coming back into the workforce, I no longer feel that way. Is it because I'm a mom now and I have had or have the hardest job ever of raising a child? Possibly, but maybe I'm just maturing or growing. Whatever it is, I like it. I no longer go into work dreading the workload or wondering if I am able to do what is asked of me. I am enjoying the projects being handed to me and I am trying to treat everything as a learning opportunity. One of my old coordinator's at college once gave us all a piece of sponge and told us to hold onto it and to make sure that we take everything that we learn in; soaking it all up like a sponge. This is what I want to do. I am going to have a new attitude towards not only work, but in life. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and once again, a working woman. It feels good; and life is good. Now if only I could conquer my addiction to sweets! ;D

Birthday bonanza

Yesterday we celebrated Cameron's first birthday and I must say it was a success. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought hosting two parties in one day would be a good idea, but in the end, it turned out to be such a wonderful day all around. The first party started at 11am and was for all Cam's friends, along with both James and mine as well. Who knew that hosting a one year old's birthday could be so complicated? Maybe it's because I'm not the greatest in being organized for hosting such a thing, but you live and learn, right?! I was scrambling around trying to finish decorating, making coffee and putting out food once everyone arrived. I suppose it didn't help that I had broken the glass of a frame as I was putting the artwork I created for Cam in the morning and had to run to Ikea to get another one and then drive all the way to St. Laurent to get the balloons I had ordered that I forgot to tell James to get the night before. All that to say, I was running behind, but everyone that arrived had graciously offered to help out and didn't seem to care too much that I was completely unorganized and a bit frazzled. It was quite the experience having over 30 adults and close to 15 babies all in one room. A bit chaotic at times, but exciting nonetheless. Earlier in the morning, James and I sat with Cam as we watched his photo and birthday message be aired on the 'A' Channel morning news. It honestly brought tears to my eyes. This day is so special and I can't believe it's been one year since Cam was born. It has been the best year of our lives so far and every day gets better and better as Cam never ceases to amaze us with all that he is learning and doing. I've mentioned that his first word was 'car' and now he is always saying 'hi'. It is the cutest thing. As the party came to an end, Erin wanted to get a photo of Mia and the birthday boy and as we sat them on the couch I told Cam to give Mia a hug and a kiss and to our amazement, he actually did it! I couldn't believe it. He kept doing it over and over and really pursing his lips and giving her kisses. What a doll! We were able to capture it all on camera, so I'll post a pic below. 

At our family party late afternoon, everyone was in good cheer and we had such a yummy dinner with everyone. When it came time to sing happy birthday and the blowing of the candle, Cam wondered what was going once all the singing began. We showed him how to blow out the candle and then he dove right into the cake, grabbing one of the huge icing balloons. By the time he finished smearing the icing all over his face as he attempted to eat it, the more he looked like a smurf. His whole face was blue. As if that was enough, because as James gave him a piece of cake he made a mess of eating that with more cake all over his face, shirt, pants, hands and floor. He then proceeded to lift the plate up and lick it. Apparently this kid loves cake! He must take after his mother. ;D

So all in all, the birthday bonanza was a success and Cam held it together like a champ. My little boy is now one and every day we can't help but smile as we are so proud to call him our son. Here are some pics from the family party. 

Happy 1st birthday Cameron! Love momma!

 

Momma's day

Today was my first Mother's day and I must say, I had a great day. James, Cam and I went to the golf course for lunch. I know I swore I wouldn't take Cam to any more restaurants for awhile, but today had to be an exception, but he did really well! He sat contently in the high chair and ate away and was in an incredible mood. He is now walking like a champ, but didn't want to showcase his skills too much at the course. I think he was holding back so that his dad wouldn't see how good he is cause he knows that one day soon he will have to caddy for him. lol

After lunch we headed to my parents' house. Cam met his younger cousin, Maxwell for the first time. He is adorable and has way more hair than Cam and weighs the same too. Cam, you have some catching up to do, little guy! It was a very nice visit with grandma and grandpa, cause we don't get to see them too often. Cam was super excited to play with all the toys and was walking like crazy, cruising from one room to the next. I think the highlight of our day was when I turned on the CD player in the living room to show Cam that it lights up and all the buttons are fun to press. My mom had a country CD in the player and once the music began to play, Cam just started dancing up a storm. Could he be a closet country music fan?! I've never seen him so hyper and excited about dancing to music before. My mom grabbed Cam's hands and they were dancing together and when my mom started moving and tapping her feet, so did Cam and then he began to lead her in the dance. We couldn't stop laughing. I wish I had a video camera to capture the moment; it was classic. It's times like these, that you realize this is a special moment and that this is what life is all about; this is what it should be like. The laughter, the dancing, the bonding and the innocence of it all. I miss that. I know my mom and I have had some rough bumps in the road lately, but this day turned out to be a special one with a wonderful memory to hold dear in my heart and to hope there will be many more happy moments like this one to come for Cameron to experience as he continues to grow. :)

Boston - a weekend of firsts

So I finally have a moment to sit down, write and enjoy some peace and quiet with no one home. Well except for Biscotti and he is actually trying really hard to get my attention today for some reason. Ok, so with the exception of him, I get to relax. Cam is at daycare today and James is at work. I want to fill you in on my trip to Boston a couple of weekends ago. We left on a Friday and drove down, Jim, Debbie, Cam and I. Cam did really well in the car ride down. He only fussed a little bit when he was tired, but finally managed to fall asleep for the last part of the ride. We stopped half way to eat at McDonald's (there was nothing else better in this little town), but it was great because they had a playland for kids. At the end of our meal, we took Cam in there and I crawled up through the tunnels and down a slide with Cam. He loved it! We captured it on video too. After lunch we got back on the road and upon arriving in Boston just after 6pm, we headed to a store to pick up a stroller for Cam. That night in our hotel room Cam was on the loose and then all of a sudden he decides it's time to take a few steps! I've been waiting for the moment! The only thing that was missing was James. I wish he could have been there to see him take his first steps. So all weekend long, Cam practiced taking a few steps and falling down. It was so cute. On Saturday we shopped for a bit and had a great lunch at this restaurant called Stephanies, which I learned last week that just a few days after we ate there, so did Salma Hayek with her kids. Pretty cool, though it would have been cooler if we had seen her there, but I digress. 

Our hotel was great. It was right downtown and close to everything. We had a crib in the room, but Cam refused to sleep in it and would only sleep in the king size bed with me. I thought this would be ok, but boy was I wrong. Between Cam rolling over, twisting around, flying arms and feet in my face and in my side and then worrying that he would wake up and crawl over the big barricade of pillows and fall on the floor, I barely got any sleep on this trip. And to top it all off, Cam was waking up at 6am to start the day. I told James that I would never go on a trip without him again. Now, don't get me wrong; Debbie and Jim were an incredible help on this trip and I loved how they invited me to come along, but it's still hard to do it on your own in a non-baby-proofed hotel room with a baby who is into everything, when you want to shower or get dressed or feed him breakfast. Someone always has to be watching him. Maybe it's because I was unprepared for a trip with a baby? You have to pack so much. I didn't have a high chair which made it difficult to feed him and it wasn't until the last day we were there that I clued in to use the stroller. Duh! That could have helped me so much. Live and learn, I suppose. 

Jim was great to take Cam on many walks around the park and many times whenever we were out eating places. Right now, Cam can't stay in a high chair for very long. I'm not sure if it's just a phase, but he wants to be on the go, all the time. It makes it difficult to go out and enjoy a meal, so we may take a break for awhile. lol So before Debbie was about to start the marathon, Jim and I took Cam to Boston Commons - which is a huge park. The sun was shining and it wasn't too cool out. Cam enjoyed the scenery and we even took him on his first carousel ride in the park. He loved it! On most carousels they have just horses, but as I was in line to get on, I spotted a giant cat that he could sit on and when it came time to get on, I was scurrying to find it when the mother in front of me came across it and put her hand on it for her daughter. I stood right behind it thinking and wanting to say, "back off lady, the cat is for my son, so keep walking!" Fortunately for us, her daughter wanted nothing to do with the cat and I quickly placed Cam on before she could change her mind. Jim stood on the sidelines with the camera and got some great videos and pictures of Cam enjoying the ride. (I'll post some pics soon when I get them). 

Later on that day, we tried to get to the finish line to see Debbie cross, but everywhere was blocked off, so we stood near the end of the race and finally spotted Debbie. She made it an incredible time of 4:05! Way to go! As we stood there watching all the runners and everyone cheering people on, it made me realize the appeal of running such an event. The hype and support from everyone is amazing. If you are a runner, after the race, people everywhere you go, congratulate you and think you are some kind of legend. Who wouldn't want all that praise and attention?! I can really see how it would feel so good. Now do I see a marathon in my future... ummm probably not. I don't think my body could handle it. I'll just stick with the half for now. 

The trip was great, Boston is such an amazing city and recommend it to anyone. So this weekend was the weekend of firsts. It was Cam's first time in the States; Debbie's first Boston marathon; Cam's first steps; and Cam's first time on a carousel. What an exciting time and now we can't wait for the next trip. Virginia Beach, you're next! 

Uneggspected turn of events

So it started off to be a great Easter Sunday. Cam woke up (too early of course) but seemed to be in good cheer. Maybe he knew spring was in the air or maybe he knew he was getting some gifts because it was a special day. We didn't go overboard on spoiling him. After all, he is not quite yet 1 years old, so he won't very well remember what he got for Easter when he was only 11 months old... We got him some clothes, a book, a teething toy and some grobags (sleep sacs). I know, not very exciting gifts, but like I said, he's not going to remember, so why not get him practical things that he needs right now. I should have known that today might be an off day when Cam decided that he didn't want his morning nap at his usual time. And why is it, that whenever you have to get ready to be somewhere, they never nap?! Since James went to go workout at his parents' place, I thought once Cam goes to bed, I'll finish getting ready for Mia's christening. We were excited to go celebrate. I saw Mia's outfit in a pic Erin had posted and couldn't wait to see her all dolled up. I even got Cam a new outfit so he would be dressed for the occasion. So as Cam decided to play instead of sleep, I figured I should just relax and enjoy this time as I will be back at work soon and won't have as much time with the little guy. I even got to experience him walk across our living room taking the most steps I've seen him take so far. It was incredible! It makes me sad sometimes when I think about going back to work because I don't want to leave him, but I know it will be good for him. It will help him learn and develop and teach him things I probably couldn't. I just have to keep telling myself that. :)

Anyway, back to today. We got to Mia's baptism and it was lovely service. Mia looked incredibly adorable, as usual. Little girls are just so darn cute in their little dresses and jewelry. After the ceremony we headed to Jane and Jeff's for dinner and as I am finishing my dinner, James notices that Cam has blood all over his hands. We find the source, Cam's fingertips are bleeding. Now how did that happen? I of course blame James since he was watching him, but I know it could have happened under anyone's watch including my own. But no time to point blame, we need to stop the bleeding. Cam is now uncontrollably crying and squirming so it's hard to get his fingers to apply pressure and have all of us finding out how deep the cuts are. Two of his fingertips are cut, deeper than paper cuts which evidently hurt, and since Cam is tired and hasn't really eaten his dinner, it's not making it any better of a situation. I tried to stay calm, but let me tell you, it's not easy watching your little boy scream and cry while bleeding. I could feel the tears starting to fall down my cheek. Everyone is trying to talk and ask what does he need, but I can't answer because I don't want people to see me weak in this moment. I can hear everyone, but for some reason I am like in my own little world, thinking about what to do, how to calm him down and wanting James to just pass him over to me, his mommy, so I can comfort him. Between James, Grandpa and Grandma there to help apply pressure and ice, inspect the cuts and wash them, I gave him some tylenol and he eventually fell asleep in my arms. We had to leave the party early and get Cam home to bed and make sure he was ok. As we drove home, I sat in the back seat, Cam was passed out and for the whole ride home, there was an awkward silence. I'm sure the both of us kept having thoughts race through our minds of how this could have happened? Shat could have been done to prevent it? What was it that he cut himself on anyway? And it's no one's fault. 

Just as we approached our building, Cameron woke up from his power nap and looked around all confused and wondering where he was. He finally started babbling away and put an end to our silence. It felt good. He's ok. We're all ok. Just an uneggspected turn of events, that's all.

Jetsetter

James and I had booked a trip to NYC a few months back and we finally were able to go at the end of March. It was a fantastic trip. It wasn't your typical relaxing getaway, but it was nice to be away nonetheless. We left Cam with his grandparents for 5 days and 5 nights. It was tough to do, though I didn't cry when we left, which I thought I totally would. I knew he was in good hands and the fact that Cam gets super excited and is all smiles with his grandparents is incredibly reassuring. My only worry was that he wouldn't sleep that well. As it turns out, he was great. I didn't have to worry at all. He slept well, ate well and got along without mommy and daddy, just fine. So well in fact, that when we arrived back home, he couldn't have cared less to see us. lol We thought, for sure he will be so excited to see mom and dad and come running up to us with wide open arms for a great big hug. Boy were we wrong. I picked him up to squeeze him and he only squirmed in my arms to go back to grandma. Welcome home to James and I! haha

In all honesty, I am glad that he was fine without us. It makes me feel better about when I have to go back to work and leave him with his daycare provider. Speaking of which, Cam is starting half days in a couple of weeks, and will work his way up to a full day. I hope he does ok there too. In the meantime, I've got to teach him how to hold his own bottle or drink his milk from a sippy cup. Right now, he seems to place both arms behind his head and lay back for me to feed him. Who made him king?! lol It would be funny if he ended up doing the same while at daycare. I better work on that. I think I spoil him too much. 

So I think this month is going to go by so quickly. Not only do we have Cam starting daycare soon, but I am heading to Boston next weekend to cheer on James' mom in the marathon. They have graciously offered to bring Cam and I along for the trip. I've never been to Boston before, so it should be so much fun. I feel like I am becoming a jetsetter. First, New York, then Boston, and then in the summer we are off to Virginia Beach for 2 weeks. It will definitely be something to look forward to once I am back to work. However, I am not looking forward to leaving Biscotti for that long. I need to either find someone to come stay at my place or put him in a pet hotel and I'm not too sure he will go for that. He is also spoiled with having a fresh glass of water on our bathroom countertop, drinking water from my fingertips in the shower and sleeping on my pillow with me every night. I can't help it, I love the little guy so much. It will be difficult to leave him. I always tear up when I go away. And he really misses us when we are gone too. Anyone want to come cat sit in a nice condo downtown? lol I better start looking into that before it stresses me out. I'm sure Biscotti will be just fine as well. I shouldn't worry so much about these things or else I'll end up becoming a hermit. Yikes.

Here are some pics from our trip to NYC. We shopped until we dropped - literally. And James didn't even complain once! My feet are still aching and it's been a week since we've been back. I think I actually got sick of shopping once our trip was over. But who am I kidding, I'll be back to normal once I hit the stores in Boston next week! hehe

Still waters

When it comes to bath time, Cam gets so unbelievably excited. As soon as he hears the shower or bath run, he boots it right to the bathroom. He is becoming more and more like Biscotti everyday. (If only he would grow some hair). hehe Every night, we think ok, this will help him calm down for bed and he'll have some fun time and get to bond with his dad. Boy are we wrong. Every night, as Cam gets excited for his bath, it ends up being such a struggle (for us as the parents). You see, Cam is one of those babies who doesn't like to be contained, strapped in seats, sitting still or not being able to move - this includes in the bath tub. Why can't he just sit there and enjoy playing with his toys like normal babies in the tub? He is constantly standing and crawling and grabbing at the faucets, the drain and all our products on the shower caddy. And when I tell him to sit down, he just laughs and thinks it's funny. (What a guy!) I'm surprised he hasn't really gotten hurt yet from all the tumbles. Needless to say, his bath time has now been cut short due to his lack of cooperation and inability to follow the rules of the water. As I recall during one our swim classes when he and all the other babies had to go in this boat, he was the one that had to climb overboard. I hope this doesn't mean that he will be the one to break all the rules? He certainly is keeping me on my toes. It's a wonder why I haven't lost all the baby weight by now. Anyway, I hope one day he will calm down and enjoy a peaceful bath that lasts longer than 5-10 minutes but for now we'll just have to keep up with the tides. 

No sympathy

I thought I would try something a little different today. Most of the time when Cameron falls or takes a tumble or Biscotti swats or scratches him, the plan is not to react. If you react, then he will usually cry. If you laugh it off or redirect the focus, everything is fine and he just smiles or continues on with his day. So as Cam pulled open the stove drawer on my big toe, (ouch!) I wanted to see how he would handle my reaction, so I fake cried. Apparently to him that is funny. I thought he may look at me and want to give me a hug, but he wasn't having it. He laughed it off. There was no sympathy going to come from him at all. Maybe he is just doing what I do to him? A taste of my own medicine perhaps? All I was looking for was a little hug or even a snuggle. Maybe next time... or maybe when he actually understands it all. One day. 

But speaking of snuggles, I have recently become very fond of his snuggles before bed and just as of last week he has fallen asleep with me while lying in bed when we were at James' parents' place. Since he now has trouble going to sleep in the pack and play, I have discovered he will fall asleep with mommy lying down in bed with him. I love these precious moments. It could be that since I have given up breastfeeding that this way I feel that bond with Cam again and that he still does need me during his most vulnerable times. I will treasure these moments and hold on to them as long as I can. That is, just as long as it doesn't become a habit where this is the only way he will fall asleep. ;)

TGI..M?!

I've come to like Mondays and sometimes even wish for the weekend to be over just so that they come even more quickly. I am crazy? Well I would be if I was still working and wishing for Monday but since I am off, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is for me. So the reason for my Monday obsession is tv. I have a line up of 3 shows that night to watch and get so excited. Tonight is the final episode of the bachelor. Yes, I watch the bachelor. Sad I know, but I suppose you could call it my guilty pleasure. And I know there are others out there who watch the same thing, cause always when it comes to the last episode, everyone's status on facebook changes after the person chooses. It's quite amusing actually. Anyway, I just had to get that out there, cause I am anticipating for it to be 8pm and it's only 10:30 in the morning.

So now onto other exciting stuff. Today Cam is 10 months old. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. In 2 months he will be 1 years old! Eeeek. That is such a huge milestone and I am already thinking about his birthday party. I want to make it really special for him even if he won't remember it. But speaking of remembering, this past weekend, James was over at his parents and they were watching old videos of when they were young. James was so happy to have those and to be able to look back at the way they were, their hairstyles, voices and how they gave their dad a chocolate bar for his birthday and then a cd holder. Boy times have changed. We both thought we should start taking more videos of Cam so that he too can one day sit down and watch them and see what he was like as a child. I've taken a few videos so far and with Cam's birthday approaching, I get more and more excited about filming that special day and see his reaction to everything that goes on. These are the moments that I look forward to experiencing and sharing with loved ones. As I was lying in bed last night, I kept going over and over the videos of Japan's earthquake disaster and devastation and cannot even fathom what that country is going through and the amount of loss and suffering. With Cam now in my life, I have such a different perspective on life and how much he needs James and I, so to think that mothers and fathers and childrens' lives have been lost or forever changed is just so heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those suffering right now.

Care 

Oh what a feeling!

So yesterday was spa day. A group of my mom friends and I had booked the entire spa to ourselves to enjoy a facial, massage and pedicure sans bebés. I was so excited to be pampered, have some chit chat and indulge in some treats as well. I was able to run 16k yesterday morning so to sit back and relax was certainly well deserved and as much as I missed the little guy, I have to admit, I loved to have some freedom again. I think I was way too relaxed and maybe I have been these past few days because I have now forgotten things so much lately and this is not like me. Maybe I'm just feeling too distracted? I've forgotten my purse twice at someone's house this week and now yesterday I forgot my ugg boots at the spa. What is wrong with me?! Maybe I still just need more sleep. Aside from my forgetfulness, I have been starting to feel like my old self again and getting my body back. I have completely weaned Cameron off of breastfeeding - yay! Maybe I have mentioned that before, but it is finally starting to feel good. The first time I gave him a bottle of formula, I cried. Not sure why, but I did. It could have been the start of him feeling not so attached to me anymore and eventually not needed me at all (even though I seem to be the only one able to give him a bottle, which defeats the purpose of me weaning him) but that's a whole other story. Anyway, it feels good that I no longer have such a short window of possible freedom anymore. Oh what a feeling! On top of that, I am feeling good about my running longer distances. I mean I still dread having to go on Saturday mornings, but once I'm out there, it really does feel great and when I finish it's amazing to have started my weekend off feeling refreshed and energized. Now if I only I could get my head out of the clouds and stop forgetting things. How long does this "baby brain" thing last for anyway? It better be gone by the time I go back to work, or else I'm in trouble!

Piece of cake

Or so we thought our long slow Saturday runs would be in this half marathon training, but were we ever wrong! It seems to be that every week during the week, the days are clear and sunny and then Saturday comes along and we have freezing cold temperatures, high winds, blowing snow or today; ice pellets and rain. We ran 14k today and were just soaked afterwards. I must say I am feeling good about getting it done, but boy am I really sore and stiff from all the uneven terrain. A lot of it's from my hard workout yesterday though. At one point, Erin, Gail and I all bent down (or should I say tried to bend) to pick up a glove and we all moaned. Seems like I wasn't the only one with tough workouts this week. I am trying to get my body back in shape after this baby and I am really having a hard time doing it. I've only got 10 lbs to go and then maybe a little bit extra for fun, but it is really difficult for me. I know the general rules, I work out most days but it's my love for food and lack of willpower that is killing me. I am a big sweet tooth and I love to snack on the bad carbs. Put a box of crackers in front of me and I can't help myself. When I get hungry, I crave bad food. This has got to stop and I am hoping that by training for this half, it will get me back into shape. I was in the best shape of my life training for the last one I did, so it's time to buckle down. Maybe if I actually write all this, I won't be able to keep using all my excuses. Someone may hold me to it one day. I've now got less than 2 months til I go back to work and I really need to be able to fit into my old pants as I can't afford to buy all new clothes. As much as it would be nice to have a brand new wardrobe, I want to feel good in my clothes again and I can't wear my lulus everyday to work. So if you see me out you may just have to simply remind me to put down that piece of cake.  

Red light, green light

You would think I would know the difference by now. I have never ever zoned out while driving. Ever. Never even come close to falling asleep. I'm always quite alert when it comes to driving. Especially now with having Cam in the car. Except for today. Now don't panic, we didn't even come close to an accident but it totally shocked me as I drove through a red light. Luckily, it was only a one way intersection on Wellington where the only problem could have been if a pedestrian was crossing at the time. Luckily there was no one. And luckily, there were no cops around to see me (even though I was right in front of Parliament) Phew. I was completely embarrassed though. I was one of those people that I shake my head at every time I see something like that. Now I am the fool. I entered this zone and was thinking about how Cam is going to be once we leave for our trip and his grandparents have to feed him for 5 days. You see he will only take a bottle from me right now. It's so frustrating because I am in the process of weaning him from breastfeeding and as much as it's working, he doesn't like to be fed from others - including James sometimes. This isn't how it's supposed to go. I just wanted to have a little bit more freedom sometimes - like to be able to go out in the evening to run errands once James comes home from work, but this hasn't been exactly how it has gone. We leave for NYC at the end of this month and Cam is not coming with us. It will be a time to relax, catch up and enjoy being away - just the two of us. I'm really looking forward to it, but I keep stressing about whether or not Cameron will take the bottle from grandma. It hasn't happened yet, but we keep trying. Now I know, that he is not going to starve and he will eat if he is hungry, but I can't help but still worry. I suppose the lesson here is, to not worry about something I have no control over, he is going to be just fine and will eat if he is hungry. No need to start missing what is right in front of me as I tune out the world as someday, it might get me into trouble.

Until next time,
Care

Head over heals

Is where I am going to end up if Biscotti (my cat) keeps prancing around my feet each time I am in the kitchen. Don't get me wrong; I love the little guy dearly and rarely ever get mad with him, but this certainly gets me frustrated. There have been numerous times now that I have stepped on his paws, tail or just about tripped over him while I am trying to get stuff done in there. Poor guy, he just wants my attention and quite honestly, I am really trying hard to give him the same amount of attention before Cam came along. I'm sure there are some days it could be better, but I do make sure he gets real play time just before bed. You see if I don't do that, he usually won't sleep on my pillow with me. Some of you might think, what's wrong with that? But I truly love him being there cuddled around my head. Even if sometimes he uses his back paws to kick me in the head, like he did this morning as I came back from the washroom. I am a weirdo, I know. Or maybe just obsessed with cats. He is my baby and always will be and it bugs me when people say, "he's just a cat." I get that some people feel that way, but I don't. He is part of my family and I like to treat him just the same.

Until next time,

Care

Why oh why?

So my sleep lately has been getting a bit better now that Cam has been sleeping through nights now for about a month. But for some reason I still feel completely exhausted on some days. Today is one of them. Now I am not one to take naps, I don't know why, I just always have to stay busy. James, on the other hand, naps could be his job if he had the option. Why can't I just sit back and take it easy sometimes?! On the weekend, James and I both agreed that I am just high strung. I sweat the small stuff and get stressed about stupid things or can't let things go. Do I want to be like this? No, but sometimes I just have no control over it. Maybe I need an attitude adjustment. lol Isn't that what parents say to their children? I think I need to say it to myself sometimes. I'm not saying I'm this bah humbug all the time, but sometimes I just need to let it go. I will only have one rant today and then mention the uplifting moment that took place today. 

So I love sleep. I miss it. Then you would think I would nap. So I learned that lesson today. I woke up with a splitting migraine today and couldn't go to my workout. I felt bad for Cam cause he always gets excited when we go to grandma and grandpa's house for a workout. His face just lights up when he sees them. Anyway, I decided to stay home. I couldn't wait to go back to bed and take a nap this morning, but I had to continue with my daily routine of being a mom. Hopefully Cam didn't notice my zombie-like stage today. He finally went down for a nap around 9:30 and as I nestled back into my bed and got all warm and comfortable, a stupid car alarm starts going off. Just what I needed for my already exploding head! It soon came to a stop and I was able to fall asleep for an hour. Of all days for Cam to have a short nap, today was not a good one. His nap was just over an hour. For some babies, that might be a normal nap, but Cam usually goes for the 2 hr naps. Why or why could that not be today?

My migraine is still lingering right now even though I took my prescription for it - maybe it isn't working fully cause it expired in November 2010. I didn't care though, I took it anyway. I needed to feel better. What I am really craving right now though is a diet coke. Caffeine. I don't drink coffee, so it's either tea or a DC. I wish I had some in the fridge. For now, I'll have to manage without.

Now onto the uplifting part of my day. Even with feeling crappy all it takes is for Cameron to do something cute and it will automatically put a smile on my face. While lying on the ground, Cam approaches me with his big gummy smile and what looks like, about to plant a big kiss on my face. Instead, what does he do, but bites my nose with the 2 sharp bottom teeth that he has. Ow. He laughs and does it a couple more times all proud. I'm now kinda afraid of him with those teeth. Will he give you a kiss or a bite? You never know when he will strike next. Good thing he's cute!

Until next time,

Care

No means... absolutely nothing

So a few months back, I wanted to teach Cam that "no" means, well, "no". It actually worked. I repeated it about 10 times in a row as he kept trying to put a coaster into his mouth until he actually cried. From then on, I think he really did understand. Every time he would go towards the cat food dish, I would say, "no" and he would look at me with big blue eyes and then start crawling away. I couldn't believe that it worked. Until today that is. After talking to Andy (a good friend) the past 2 weekends about my experience and then him trying it out with Mia everything changed. Now I'm not sure if Cam overheard us or the novelty has just worn off, but now "no" means nothing to Cam. Instead he laughs and continues to do what he is doing, grabbing the cat food. I found him with a piece in his hand and as I started approaching him to get it from him, the quick little gaffer proceeded to put the piece in his mouth. Disgusting. Lovely, now I have to figure out a way to stop him from doing that. If you know my place, you know it's quite small and now I have to figure out somewhere to hide the food. What is next - the cat litter?! I hope he doesn't discover that one.

Until next time,
Care

Duck and cover

Now that Cam has gone down for his morning nap, I thought I would be able to sit, relax, write a bit in here and have a nice cup of tea, that I have kept reheating the water for in the microwave. You see, about a month ago, our kettle broke, making it less easy for us to boil water for oatmeal, tea and Cam's cereal. So in the meantime, I've used a glass measuring cup in the microwave to boil the water; until just now. With my back turned to the kitchen and I write here peacefully I hear a major explosion and the microwave door pops open and boiling water flies everywhere. My heart is still racing. The kind where you are in your car and you have to slam on your brakes to avoid getting into an accident or when you get pulled over by the cops for speeding (not that those things happen to me often) but you get the point. I suppose reheating and reheating the water after so many interruptions with the little guy is not such a great idea. I have no moved onto boiling the water on the stove top. I don't know why I don't like this method as much, I mean, it's the same amount of effort and dishes, so why do I even have a preference? I will try this week to go an replace my kettle. I miss it. And I don't think James knows how to make his oatmeal otherwise. hehe At least now my kitchen is nice and sterilized.

Well I think my water is now ready, my nerves are calm and so maybe I can enjoy my hot cup of tea. I just hope Cam falls asleep soon. I can hear him chatting with himself in his crib making happy noises which actually puts a smile on my face so that's ok by me.

Until next time,

Care

Weather permitting

So today I was supposed to host a play date for my 2 sister-in-laws, my friend Erin and all their little girls, but due to the weather, we had to cancel. Besides, I would rather cancel it than for any of them to risk driving in such terrible conditions. I suppose it was kind of a blessing as I was feeling quite tired from such a busy weekend. I had run 13k on Saturday morning, then had Cameron's baptism in the afternoon and then we were godparents to the twins on Sunday morning, followed by a birthday celebration at Jane and Jeff's place. Cam must be worn out from all the excitement too since his naps today have both been over 2 hrs each. I'm waiting for him to wake any moment. 

So as I am new to this whole blogging thing, I thought I would try it out and see how it goes. I've been inspired by all the different blogs I have been reading from friends and family and thought since I love to write sometimes, why not keep a blog myself. With being a new mom, I have so many great stories and memories to share. Like this one. Cam is now 9 months old. Boy how time is flying by. This past weekend, we had him baptized. I must say he did an amazing job and held it together. His parents on the other hand, not so much. We actually felt like a fish out of water. For both being brought up Catholic, James and I really had no clue what we were doing up there at the altar. From me signing the cross on Cam's head the wrong way to James holding Cam's whole body (bum first) over the water - what were we doing?! At least we made the whole congregation laugh. It definitely is one for the memory books and this certainly marks another milestone in our life. We had the support of our family and friends there with us and it makes us recognize that with all them standing with us by our sides, we really are blessed to have them in our lives and to know we can count on them. Cam is such a lucky little guy and he is going to grow up with so much love and support. As I sat feeding him today, I thought, "I want to be the best mom possible to this little guy. I'm going to love him, support him and always be there for him." 

I wish I had started this sooner as there have been so many great memories and stories since first becoming a mom, but I am hoping to start capturing them all now in hopes that someone will enjoy reading. Cam is 9 months old and is starting to walk along the furniture so he should be walking any time now. I'm already chasing him as he crawls all over the place. His smiles and laughter are contagious and I melt every time he hugs me, kisses me, says momma or giggles. James and I are truly lucky to have such a great little boy to call our son. 

Until next time,

Care