Melt my heart

I know, I know, it's been awhile. Again. Life is just so busy with two little ones now. I could have never imagined how busy and, well, hard it would be with two kids. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, love my kids with every ounce of my being, but I don't think anything can prepare you for motherhood. There are ups and downs, good times and trying times, so it makes me wonder how anyone can handle such a job. There are certainly some times now where I have thought, maybe I should go back to work? But then these unbelievable moments happen where you see their first smile, hear their first giggle or am amazed at how much their vocabulary increases, how much they grow and remember even the smallest of things. You become so impressed with who they are becoming. 

Lately, I've had some long days and nights, but I know it will get better. Cam rarely naps anymore, but funny as I am writing this, both kids are fast asleep for an afternoon nap. I am quite enjoying such a peaceful afternoon as this is very rare since Kylie arrived on the scene. So much has happened in the last few months. Cam started preschool two weeks ago and to my amazement, he is excelling quite well. When I first took him in to meet with the principal, he gave the worst first impression possible. Kicking and screaming, yelling NO, flopping to the ground, all because he wanted to do his own thing and play with the toys as all the other kids were eating their snack. I don't know why, but I felt almost embarrassed as twelve 3 year olds watched me try to control or get my kid to cooperate with me. Even the principal said, we can do a trial and if it doesn't work out... I was so sad. I went home in tears. I so badly wanted my child to fit in and be a part of something with other children. I so badly wanted a break just two mornings a week from my ever so active child so I can focus on Kylie. I so badly wanted some peace and quiet. Well I now have that break. Cam has been at school for two weeks and loves it. I am so happy! How could I have doubted him? Having taken him out of daycare to be at home with me, makes it hard to keep him stimulated when I have to hold a baby the majority of the day. This gives him the time to interact with other children, play outside and really learn what it's like to be in a school environment. His teachers are even saying, it's like he's always been here, he's the best cleaner-upper in the class, and he has such a large vocabulary. 

Well Cam, you proved me wrong and I am so very proud. My favourite part of those mornings that he is at school, is actually picking him up and seeing his great big smile and him showing me or telling me what he did that day. I absolutely love it! These are the moments that erase all the challenging times a mother goes through with her children and just melt my heart. Keep up the good work little buddy!    

Wonder Woman

Is it just me, or does it seem like every mother I know makes it look so easy to raise their children? It's only been one week and it feels like I have been through an emotional roller coaster. I've shed some tears, screamed, smiled, laughed and experienced some of the greatest joys in life as a new mother of two. I know that I will be able to handle what is thrown my way, it's just what you have to do right?! So why is it when I look at all the other mothers I know, I get the impression that they all have a handle on things and it appears to come naturally or easy to them? Their kids listen to them, they are able to play contently, they are all on a schedule for naps and bedtime and they seem to be able to sit down and eat food or breastfeed without any issues? Now I'm not saying that everyday is a struggle for me. I do have good days, but boy when you have a bad day, it can be rough. Yesterday was very challenging for me. Kylie was feeding non stop. It felt like every hour and she probably only slept for a total of two hours the entire day. My day didn't stop until around midnight when she finally crashed and actually slept for four hours, which I had to wake her up to eat only for her to not want anything. Cam also didn't want to go to sleep and finally went to bed around 10:45, woke up once for a bottle and then again at 5:30 am having wet his bed and refused to go back to sleep. After a quick little breakdown from me this morning, the day has proven to be much easier. Kylie has slept almost all day long, is not gassy and has proven to be the little angel that she is. That, or she was showing off that she is one easy baby after a lovely visit with her G-G Ma and great uncle this morning. I know that there will be plenty of bad days and I'll push through them, but what makes it all worth it is to see that I have two beautiful and healthy children in my life and for that I will try to be the best mom that I can be to them; a true wonder woman. 

Kylie Kennedy McGee

That's right, our little Kylie was born just one week ago today and I couldn't be happier. She is such a perfect little princess. We arrived at the hospital at 6 am Friday morning for my scheduled c-section and she was born at 8:30 am and weighed 7 lbs exactly. The surgery went really well and was done so quickly. I had an amazing doctor and the nurses at the hospital were wonderful which made the stay pretty good. This time around, I was actually able to get some sleep in there as I wasn't as worried as when I became a first time mom with Cam. Also, it helped that Kylie was a great sleeper and had to be woken up every three hours to feed. We were able to go home on Monday after my spinal headache somewhat subsided (the only horrible part of the stay) and Kylie has since been a doll. Cam was introduced to his sister the day she was born and it was nothing but excitement, kisses and cuddles coming from him then and every day after. I am beyond happy that I now have one of each and cannot wait to see their interaction with each other as they grow up together. As my emotions get the better of me, I can't help but have some tears every time I see older pictures cycle through on my screen saver of Cam and want to just hold and him and let him know that he is still my little baby as well. We are now looking at putting Cam into skating lessons this fall. Can you believe it? A two year old on skates. He is growing up so fast and I know it's only getting better and better as our family evolves. I know there is plenty of happy times and memories to come, so why all the tears?! Lovely hormones. 

Anyway, once we picked up Cam from his Grandma and Grandpa's to bring him home with us, it was as though he grew some more and was speaking a whole lot more also. Sentences flowing, words I have never heard from him before and him making a lot of sense. It's crazy. And to top that off, he no longer uses a soother. Cold turkey from staying with Grandma and Grandpa. He has only asked us for it once for his nap, but James had to say no and that was it, he went off to sleep. Now onto potty training, which after his nap yesterday, said he wanted to go use the potty and succeeded. Maybe it won't be long now!
I'll attach some pics from our week with Kylie, but first a couple of funny quotes from Cam.

As I'm feeding Kylie, Cam asks: Mommy, what are you doing?
Me: I'm feeding Kylie some milk.
Cam: From there? 
Me: Yes, milk from my booby.
Cam: Mommy, I want to drink some.
Me: No, Cam you drink from a bubba (bottle).
Then he proceeds to lift up James' shirt and say: Daddy, I want to drink yours, which James responds: I don't have any, only for Cam to go to Grandma and try to lift her shirt and says: Grandma, I want to drink yours. 

Oh boy!  

Another cute one from last week was that he told his grandparents that Mr. Rain and Mr. Wind should get a time out for breaking the tree in their backyard.

You gotta love that kid!

Ok, now for some pics of Kylie and Cam. :D

Nesting

I am in full swing, the nesting stage of pregnancy. I want to weed out, organize and buy new things for our condo. Because I am feeling rather large, I want as little as possible in our place, but have no where to put things. I want the toys hidden, the clutter gone and everything clean and tidy. What it really comes down to, is we have outgrown our space. Having one child, ok, it can work. Having a toddler and another baby one the way, it's a tight squeeze. We are trying to figure out a plan to make it work though - at least for the next several months. I mean, people in big cities do it, right?! I just have to be super organized. Everyone keeps asking us, what our plan is, and I'm so tired of not having one. James and I need to sit down (maybe after the baby comes) and really nail down a plan of action. When we go to friends' houses on weekends and see the space they have and the fact they can have people over and entertain or go outside to a backyard, I can't help but be a tad bit jealous that we can't do the same. I know I just have to be patient and something will come along to make our own, but the pregnancy hormones in me just keep rearing their little heads! In one way, I want to move and leave the condo lifestyle, but in another it makes me sad to close that chapter. It's such a big decision, I just don't want to make the wrong move. 

Kids say the darndest things!

Although I had quite a few spa treatments this weekend, I am still feeling quite tired. I have not been getting the greatest of sleeps these nights as frequent trips to the washroom have me up almost every hour. Aside from that, I got to enjoy a massage during the day, some girl talk with a pedicure/manicure with some friends on Saturday afternoon to celebrate their soon to arrive #2 babies, followed by a bbq. What a great way to spend a Saturday. It was great to sit and catch up. Cam had so much fun playing with all the kids, splashing around in the water with them and playing soccer. He is getting to be so big and full of chatter now. He told me this weekend that a dinosaur bit him on his leg. "Oh really? Where were you?" I said. "At Tracy's." (that is his daycare provider) So I asked him if the dinosaur said sorry, and of course, he did. It was the cutest thing ever. I am loving most of the things he has t say these days but especially little stories like this that he tells me.
My ever growing belly is making it so much harder to well, do almost everything now. I can barely bend down to pick things up. It's hard to lift Cam. It's extremely difficult to roll over in bed; I feel like I need a crane to pick me up and when I try to get in the car, I usually say, "ohhh" which Cam says to me, "mommy, too big?" Yes, I am. I will admit, I have been telling him that myself, so I can't help but laugh at that one. ;)   

Terrific twos!

That is what my daycare provider likes to call it. She honestly loves this age in little ones. I, on the other hand, being the mother of that screaming, hitting and loves the word, "NO!" child, would beg to differ sometimes. But only sometimes. All those challenging moments aside, I am really loving Cam at this age too. I see him soaking up everything he encounters like a sponge and I can't help but smile and laugh. And speaking of soaking up everything, last week I was making some cupcakes and as Cam was climbing on the breakfast bar he knocked over my water glass spilling it on the butter I was about to use. Of course, my initial reaction was to yell, "Shit" and wouldn't you know it, the little parrot in the room did the same. And so it begins... Better watch the potty mouth, momma! 

Here are some pics of that terrific toddler, that I promised. ;)

Been way too long

So it's been almost a year to the date since I last posted on here, so I better get back into it. So many things have changed since then. I am pregnant again, this time with a little girl. I am so exited to have one of each and can't wait to see Cam as a big brother! I will love to see the bond they form and hopefully one day he will be her little protector. We have decided to name her Kylie Kennedy McGee. Still keeping with the "Kennedy" as the middle name since I never changed my name when I married James. Cam has Kennedy as his middle name also. I think both names are nice and strong and really go well together. As I sit here and write this, Kylie is moving around like crazy. Not sure if she is dancing to the funk music that is playing in the office here or she is trying to tell me that she wants some lunch. lol Anyway, I can't wait to meet her and see her come August. 

I'm starting to get really uncomfortable and not sleeping that well, so I can only imagine the summer won't be quite as enjoyable, but like they say, it will all be worth it, once I see that little face. 

Cam is growing up so incredibly fast too. He just turned two on May 14 and he is like a little boy now. He is saying sentences and able to communicate with us more and more everyday. This past weekend, James' mom and I took him to Syracuse on a little shopping excursion. He did fairly well, with only 2 meltdowns. I had a meltdown myself as I had to pack up his and my lunch in the food court while he screamed and cried, threw things and kept hitting me in the face. I was trying to hurry to get out of there so no one would see the tears started to run down my cheek. I was exhausted, had no voice, pregnant, hungry and had a screaming 2 year old on my hands that wouldn't listen to me if his life depended on it. I made it to the car to finally confine him and finish my food until Debbie was able to come find me. Stupid cell phone wouldn't work so I had no way of reaching her to let her know where I had gone. As she arrived to the car, the tears started flowing down my face, as I tried to tell her, that I had to get out of there so people would stop staring at me like I was a bad mother for not controlling my child. At that very moment, I thought, what have I done getting pregnant again with a 2 year old? I should have waited til Cam was a bit older. Either way, it makes for a rather funny story to one day tell Cam what he put his mother through. haha 

I only expect this to be the first of many meltdowns, so I better toughen up and learn to deal - especially with another one on the way. I know I can handle it or rather, will handle; I just need to exert a little more patience.
I will post some pics soon of Cam and how much he has grown up. He is such a cutie and his smile is so infectious; I love him so much! 

So I'm back to blogging - hopefully it won't be few and far between posts!

Say what?!

Some of the cutest things come from kids mouths, especially when they are learning new words. Cam, as some of you may know, is obsessed with cars and every other "mighty machine" so he has taken to even making the sounds they make. if you ask him what a car does or says, he will say, "beep, beep, beep" and make the motion of honking a horn. A digger goes, "dig, dig, dig" as he points repeatedly with his hand downwards. So he's got a bunch of the basics down but he is now starting to put some words together, to form a sentence. When Biscotti is up on the bathroom counter, tv stand or even a chair, Cam proceeds to yell "Get down now!" and points down to the ground. I wonder where he picked that up from. ;) I suppose now, the sensors really need to come out for James and I. We've already begun the spelling game. C-O-O-K-I-E is not a word we can use in our house too often, or else you better have one ready to give out to the little guy. Oh and it can only be the mint girl guide ones. Looks like James and I will be spelling that one until next year when they come back in season. lol

One other cute story to share from this weekend. Last night, James and I decided to walk over to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. As I am pushing Cam in the cart we had come to a stop in the aisle as some people were blocking the way, Cam decides to say, "beep, beep!" The woman beside us started to laugh as I acknowledge that he is indeed using it in the right context. Kids really do say the darndest things.  

Long time no post

Wow, it's been awhile! I don't really have that great of an excuse for not writing other than I got lazy. I'm going to try and make more of an effort to write more posts from now on. Life is busy and good, so there is no reason not to share what is going on. Cam is constantly changing and growing; it's such a great experience and adventure every day. I have been having these really strong mental thoughts lately about not wanting to let go of Cam. I think it all stemmed from my trip to Barcelona (well the one I was supposed to go on, but I'll explain that later). I was keeping busy with everything around me, that I didn't have much time to think about leaving and what it would be like to say farewell to Cam and James to go away for 10 days. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to think about it, cause every time someone would ask me if I was excited to, then the thoughts would slowly start to seep in about Cam's well being without me. I mean, don't get me wrong, James is a great, loving and caring father, but it's me that runs to Cam in the middle of the night when he cries. It's me he wants when he gets hurt. I'm the one to give him a bottle and tuck him in at night, so what would it be like when he discovers I'm not there to do any of it? The rationale part of me knows he would survive. The other side of me (the emotional side) would start to tear up thinking he needs me to be there for him and that I am failing him as a mother to always be there for him, for none other than the selfish reason of wanting to get away on a break. Knowing I would be across the world with no responsibilities and having fun in a city/country I have yet to discover felt almost wrong. Is that weird? All of a sudden future thoughts would flash through my head of Cam's first day of school, then letting him go to university and then, of course, marriage. My baby would soon be all grown up and gone before I know it. I now have felt the uncontrollable feeling of never wanting your baby to grow up. I want to hold him and never let go. As I was going through all my photos of Cam as a newborn and now as an 18 month old, I am in awe of how much he has grown up and changed in such a short time. I think this stage is my favourite. Seeing him discover and learn so many things right now brings the biggest smile to my face and makes my heart so filled with joy. He makes me laugh, cry and sometimes makes me frustrated, but these are the best days of my life, by far. Now as for my trip to Barcelona, I was supposed to leave Friday evening with a girl friend, but due to some unfortunate health complications, we had to cancel last minute. I am bummed, but it would have been terrible had we had left and she fell ill while there. I just hope she gets back to good health quickly. Sometimes the expression, "everything happens for a reason," sounds cliché, but I do believe it. Maybe I just wasn't supposed to go this time around. Cam is battling his first cough, so I couldn't imagine leaving him while he is feeling so bad. So, on Friday night, rather than spending it on a flight to the warm city of Barcelona, I spent it watching a Sens game with James, his dad and two brothers and Cam. Now, it's not my idea of the time of my life, but I still love spending time with family no what the occasion because they are the most important people in my life and I want Cam to grow up cherishing all of them. 


Care

Your friendly neighbourhood strangers

Today on my way home after picking up Cam from daycare, I experienced two random acts of kindness from complete strangers. It's not everyday that something like this happens, so I feel like I it deserves a post. As I left work, I saw the skies turning more and more grey and I knew this was not going to be great walking weather for a baby in a stroller. I actually got a ride to Cam's daycare from my Creative Director, Jake and I knew the moment he would drop me off, that it was going to start to down pour, and boy was I right. I had to wait on the steps of daycare before Cam and I could leave and once the rain tapered down, we started on our way. As we were walking a woman carrying an umbrella asked me if I wanted to walk under it as she was going my way. I told her thanks, but it's ok, I have an umbrella myself, but was more concerned about the lightning hitting us if I had it up. Then about 30 feet ahead I noticed a really nice audi pulled over to the side of the road and as I approached it closer, the man inside asked me if I wanted a ride home so I wouldn't be caught in the storm. Again, I declined the offer (not because he could have been a creep - cause I honestly believe he was just being nice) but I didn't have a car seat is what I told him and he said, that's ok, do you need to go far? I only had a few more blocks to go, so I was fine. Normally I haven't really experienced true random acts of kindness like this on the streets downtown, so it was really nice to have it happen all in my neighbourhood. I mean, not that I live in a crappy area, but you never know the things that could happen where you live. It made me feel good that there are still those friendly neighbourhood strangers out there willing to lend a helping hand, umbrella or car for that matter. ;)

A new PB!

Today was race day and all the while leading up to it, I wasn't nervous at all until yesterday. I was watching the 5k race start and all the runners going super fast and as I stood there, I could feel my heart pounding and butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't at all nervous until that moment, because I don't like to set a time for a goal. That being said, I tend to say that when I am training, thinking I can't run that fast and thinking that I am not really that competitive, but I think deep down, I am a little bit. My last race, I said the same thing. No set time, just completion as my goal, but like the last time, the last couple of days before race day, I always seem to say, "well, if I could only do it in such a such a time, I'd be happy." I completed my first half marathon in 2:05 and so after having a baby, I thought that I may be a bit slower this time around. To my surprise, I was actually faster. Even if it was only by 2 minutes, I am very happy that I now have a new PB. I kept repeating, "I can do this, I feel good. I'm going to make it!" An old friend had given me the advice that I am prepared physically for the race, but now just need to focus on the mental part. Going into the race this morning, I kept that in mind and sure enough, it worked! I am already thinking about my next race; and I hope to make it in under 2 hours. Should be some good training. Anyway, I should get to bed as I am completely exhausted and haven't stopped to take a break all day, but first here are some pics from after the race with my training buddy, Erin. We're just missing our other training buddy, Gail though. We all did amazing, so congrats to all the runners this weekend!

 

Working woman

It's been two and a half weeks since I started back to work and I must say it really does feel good. I knew it would be hard and a quite the adjustment after being off for the year, but everyday seems to get better and a little easier. I know there are going to be slip ups, like today, we were running a bit late. Cam got his first year needles and was a bit more clingy than he has been so it was a little bit of a challenge to get ready this morning with a baby attached to your leg at all times and the moment you put him aside, he starts to cry. Anyway, I am slowly starting to become more organized and have things ready to get out the door in good time. I am also back to walking to work and with that, I am pleased to say that almost all my old jeans are now fitting me again! It took awhile and I still have another five pounds to go before reaching my old weight, but I am almost there! It feels good and I am starting to feel like my old self again. With being back to work, I have this new feeling or sense of empowerment. I'm not sure if that's exactly how to describe it, but it just feels different. Maybe I feel more confidence. Before I would feel as though I couldn't do some things or feel the lack of knowledge or skills and I would also think that I wasn't good enough for some things at work. Coming back into the workforce, I no longer feel that way. Is it because I'm a mom now and I have had or have the hardest job ever of raising a child? Possibly, but maybe I'm just maturing or growing. Whatever it is, I like it. I no longer go into work dreading the workload or wondering if I am able to do what is asked of me. I am enjoying the projects being handed to me and I am trying to treat everything as a learning opportunity. One of my old coordinator's at college once gave us all a piece of sponge and told us to hold onto it and to make sure that we take everything that we learn in; soaking it all up like a sponge. This is what I want to do. I am going to have a new attitude towards not only work, but in life. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and once again, a working woman. It feels good; and life is good. Now if only I could conquer my addiction to sweets! ;D

Birthday bonanza

Yesterday we celebrated Cameron's first birthday and I must say it was a success. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought hosting two parties in one day would be a good idea, but in the end, it turned out to be such a wonderful day all around. The first party started at 11am and was for all Cam's friends, along with both James and mine as well. Who knew that hosting a one year old's birthday could be so complicated? Maybe it's because I'm not the greatest in being organized for hosting such a thing, but you live and learn, right?! I was scrambling around trying to finish decorating, making coffee and putting out food once everyone arrived. I suppose it didn't help that I had broken the glass of a frame as I was putting the artwork I created for Cam in the morning and had to run to Ikea to get another one and then drive all the way to St. Laurent to get the balloons I had ordered that I forgot to tell James to get the night before. All that to say, I was running behind, but everyone that arrived had graciously offered to help out and didn't seem to care too much that I was completely unorganized and a bit frazzled. It was quite the experience having over 30 adults and close to 15 babies all in one room. A bit chaotic at times, but exciting nonetheless. Earlier in the morning, James and I sat with Cam as we watched his photo and birthday message be aired on the 'A' Channel morning news. It honestly brought tears to my eyes. This day is so special and I can't believe it's been one year since Cam was born. It has been the best year of our lives so far and every day gets better and better as Cam never ceases to amaze us with all that he is learning and doing. I've mentioned that his first word was 'car' and now he is always saying 'hi'. It is the cutest thing. As the party came to an end, Erin wanted to get a photo of Mia and the birthday boy and as we sat them on the couch I told Cam to give Mia a hug and a kiss and to our amazement, he actually did it! I couldn't believe it. He kept doing it over and over and really pursing his lips and giving her kisses. What a doll! We were able to capture it all on camera, so I'll post a pic below. 

At our family party late afternoon, everyone was in good cheer and we had such a yummy dinner with everyone. When it came time to sing happy birthday and the blowing of the candle, Cam wondered what was going once all the singing began. We showed him how to blow out the candle and then he dove right into the cake, grabbing one of the huge icing balloons. By the time he finished smearing the icing all over his face as he attempted to eat it, the more he looked like a smurf. His whole face was blue. As if that was enough, because as James gave him a piece of cake he made a mess of eating that with more cake all over his face, shirt, pants, hands and floor. He then proceeded to lift the plate up and lick it. Apparently this kid loves cake! He must take after his mother. ;D

So all in all, the birthday bonanza was a success and Cam held it together like a champ. My little boy is now one and every day we can't help but smile as we are so proud to call him our son. Here are some pics from the family party. 

Happy 1st birthday Cameron! Love momma!

 

Momma's day

Today was my first Mother's day and I must say, I had a great day. James, Cam and I went to the golf course for lunch. I know I swore I wouldn't take Cam to any more restaurants for awhile, but today had to be an exception, but he did really well! He sat contently in the high chair and ate away and was in an incredible mood. He is now walking like a champ, but didn't want to showcase his skills too much at the course. I think he was holding back so that his dad wouldn't see how good he is cause he knows that one day soon he will have to caddy for him. lol

After lunch we headed to my parents' house. Cam met his younger cousin, Maxwell for the first time. He is adorable and has way more hair than Cam and weighs the same too. Cam, you have some catching up to do, little guy! It was a very nice visit with grandma and grandpa, cause we don't get to see them too often. Cam was super excited to play with all the toys and was walking like crazy, cruising from one room to the next. I think the highlight of our day was when I turned on the CD player in the living room to show Cam that it lights up and all the buttons are fun to press. My mom had a country CD in the player and once the music began to play, Cam just started dancing up a storm. Could he be a closet country music fan?! I've never seen him so hyper and excited about dancing to music before. My mom grabbed Cam's hands and they were dancing together and when my mom started moving and tapping her feet, so did Cam and then he began to lead her in the dance. We couldn't stop laughing. I wish I had a video camera to capture the moment; it was classic. It's times like these, that you realize this is a special moment and that this is what life is all about; this is what it should be like. The laughter, the dancing, the bonding and the innocence of it all. I miss that. I know my mom and I have had some rough bumps in the road lately, but this day turned out to be a special one with a wonderful memory to hold dear in my heart and to hope there will be many more happy moments like this one to come for Cameron to experience as he continues to grow. :)

Boston - a weekend of firsts

So I finally have a moment to sit down, write and enjoy some peace and quiet with no one home. Well except for Biscotti and he is actually trying really hard to get my attention today for some reason. Ok, so with the exception of him, I get to relax. Cam is at daycare today and James is at work. I want to fill you in on my trip to Boston a couple of weekends ago. We left on a Friday and drove down, Jim, Debbie, Cam and I. Cam did really well in the car ride down. He only fussed a little bit when he was tired, but finally managed to fall asleep for the last part of the ride. We stopped half way to eat at McDonald's (there was nothing else better in this little town), but it was great because they had a playland for kids. At the end of our meal, we took Cam in there and I crawled up through the tunnels and down a slide with Cam. He loved it! We captured it on video too. After lunch we got back on the road and upon arriving in Boston just after 6pm, we headed to a store to pick up a stroller for Cam. That night in our hotel room Cam was on the loose and then all of a sudden he decides it's time to take a few steps! I've been waiting for the moment! The only thing that was missing was James. I wish he could have been there to see him take his first steps. So all weekend long, Cam practiced taking a few steps and falling down. It was so cute. On Saturday we shopped for a bit and had a great lunch at this restaurant called Stephanies, which I learned last week that just a few days after we ate there, so did Salma Hayek with her kids. Pretty cool, though it would have been cooler if we had seen her there, but I digress. 

Our hotel was great. It was right downtown and close to everything. We had a crib in the room, but Cam refused to sleep in it and would only sleep in the king size bed with me. I thought this would be ok, but boy was I wrong. Between Cam rolling over, twisting around, flying arms and feet in my face and in my side and then worrying that he would wake up and crawl over the big barricade of pillows and fall on the floor, I barely got any sleep on this trip. And to top it all off, Cam was waking up at 6am to start the day. I told James that I would never go on a trip without him again. Now, don't get me wrong; Debbie and Jim were an incredible help on this trip and I loved how they invited me to come along, but it's still hard to do it on your own in a non-baby-proofed hotel room with a baby who is into everything, when you want to shower or get dressed or feed him breakfast. Someone always has to be watching him. Maybe it's because I was unprepared for a trip with a baby? You have to pack so much. I didn't have a high chair which made it difficult to feed him and it wasn't until the last day we were there that I clued in to use the stroller. Duh! That could have helped me so much. Live and learn, I suppose. 

Jim was great to take Cam on many walks around the park and many times whenever we were out eating places. Right now, Cam can't stay in a high chair for very long. I'm not sure if it's just a phase, but he wants to be on the go, all the time. It makes it difficult to go out and enjoy a meal, so we may take a break for awhile. lol So before Debbie was about to start the marathon, Jim and I took Cam to Boston Commons - which is a huge park. The sun was shining and it wasn't too cool out. Cam enjoyed the scenery and we even took him on his first carousel ride in the park. He loved it! On most carousels they have just horses, but as I was in line to get on, I spotted a giant cat that he could sit on and when it came time to get on, I was scurrying to find it when the mother in front of me came across it and put her hand on it for her daughter. I stood right behind it thinking and wanting to say, "back off lady, the cat is for my son, so keep walking!" Fortunately for us, her daughter wanted nothing to do with the cat and I quickly placed Cam on before she could change her mind. Jim stood on the sidelines with the camera and got some great videos and pictures of Cam enjoying the ride. (I'll post some pics soon when I get them). 

Later on that day, we tried to get to the finish line to see Debbie cross, but everywhere was blocked off, so we stood near the end of the race and finally spotted Debbie. She made it an incredible time of 4:05! Way to go! As we stood there watching all the runners and everyone cheering people on, it made me realize the appeal of running such an event. The hype and support from everyone is amazing. If you are a runner, after the race, people everywhere you go, congratulate you and think you are some kind of legend. Who wouldn't want all that praise and attention?! I can really see how it would feel so good. Now do I see a marathon in my future... ummm probably not. I don't think my body could handle it. I'll just stick with the half for now. 

The trip was great, Boston is such an amazing city and recommend it to anyone. So this weekend was the weekend of firsts. It was Cam's first time in the States; Debbie's first Boston marathon; Cam's first steps; and Cam's first time on a carousel. What an exciting time and now we can't wait for the next trip. Virginia Beach, you're next! 

Uneggspected turn of events

So it started off to be a great Easter Sunday. Cam woke up (too early of course) but seemed to be in good cheer. Maybe he knew spring was in the air or maybe he knew he was getting some gifts because it was a special day. We didn't go overboard on spoiling him. After all, he is not quite yet 1 years old, so he won't very well remember what he got for Easter when he was only 11 months old... We got him some clothes, a book, a teething toy and some grobags (sleep sacs). I know, not very exciting gifts, but like I said, he's not going to remember, so why not get him practical things that he needs right now. I should have known that today might be an off day when Cam decided that he didn't want his morning nap at his usual time. And why is it, that whenever you have to get ready to be somewhere, they never nap?! Since James went to go workout at his parents' place, I thought once Cam goes to bed, I'll finish getting ready for Mia's christening. We were excited to go celebrate. I saw Mia's outfit in a pic Erin had posted and couldn't wait to see her all dolled up. I even got Cam a new outfit so he would be dressed for the occasion. So as Cam decided to play instead of sleep, I figured I should just relax and enjoy this time as I will be back at work soon and won't have as much time with the little guy. I even got to experience him walk across our living room taking the most steps I've seen him take so far. It was incredible! It makes me sad sometimes when I think about going back to work because I don't want to leave him, but I know it will be good for him. It will help him learn and develop and teach him things I probably couldn't. I just have to keep telling myself that. :)

Anyway, back to today. We got to Mia's baptism and it was lovely service. Mia looked incredibly adorable, as usual. Little girls are just so darn cute in their little dresses and jewelry. After the ceremony we headed to Jane and Jeff's for dinner and as I am finishing my dinner, James notices that Cam has blood all over his hands. We find the source, Cam's fingertips are bleeding. Now how did that happen? I of course blame James since he was watching him, but I know it could have happened under anyone's watch including my own. But no time to point blame, we need to stop the bleeding. Cam is now uncontrollably crying and squirming so it's hard to get his fingers to apply pressure and have all of us finding out how deep the cuts are. Two of his fingertips are cut, deeper than paper cuts which evidently hurt, and since Cam is tired and hasn't really eaten his dinner, it's not making it any better of a situation. I tried to stay calm, but let me tell you, it's not easy watching your little boy scream and cry while bleeding. I could feel the tears starting to fall down my cheek. Everyone is trying to talk and ask what does he need, but I can't answer because I don't want people to see me weak in this moment. I can hear everyone, but for some reason I am like in my own little world, thinking about what to do, how to calm him down and wanting James to just pass him over to me, his mommy, so I can comfort him. Between James, Grandpa and Grandma there to help apply pressure and ice, inspect the cuts and wash them, I gave him some tylenol and he eventually fell asleep in my arms. We had to leave the party early and get Cam home to bed and make sure he was ok. As we drove home, I sat in the back seat, Cam was passed out and for the whole ride home, there was an awkward silence. I'm sure the both of us kept having thoughts race through our minds of how this could have happened? Shat could have been done to prevent it? What was it that he cut himself on anyway? And it's no one's fault. 

Just as we approached our building, Cameron woke up from his power nap and looked around all confused and wondering where he was. He finally started babbling away and put an end to our silence. It felt good. He's ok. We're all ok. Just an uneggspected turn of events, that's all.

Jetsetter

James and I had booked a trip to NYC a few months back and we finally were able to go at the end of March. It was a fantastic trip. It wasn't your typical relaxing getaway, but it was nice to be away nonetheless. We left Cam with his grandparents for 5 days and 5 nights. It was tough to do, though I didn't cry when we left, which I thought I totally would. I knew he was in good hands and the fact that Cam gets super excited and is all smiles with his grandparents is incredibly reassuring. My only worry was that he wouldn't sleep that well. As it turns out, he was great. I didn't have to worry at all. He slept well, ate well and got along without mommy and daddy, just fine. So well in fact, that when we arrived back home, he couldn't have cared less to see us. lol We thought, for sure he will be so excited to see mom and dad and come running up to us with wide open arms for a great big hug. Boy were we wrong. I picked him up to squeeze him and he only squirmed in my arms to go back to grandma. Welcome home to James and I! haha

In all honesty, I am glad that he was fine without us. It makes me feel better about when I have to go back to work and leave him with his daycare provider. Speaking of which, Cam is starting half days in a couple of weeks, and will work his way up to a full day. I hope he does ok there too. In the meantime, I've got to teach him how to hold his own bottle or drink his milk from a sippy cup. Right now, he seems to place both arms behind his head and lay back for me to feed him. Who made him king?! lol It would be funny if he ended up doing the same while at daycare. I better work on that. I think I spoil him too much. 

So I think this month is going to go by so quickly. Not only do we have Cam starting daycare soon, but I am heading to Boston next weekend to cheer on James' mom in the marathon. They have graciously offered to bring Cam and I along for the trip. I've never been to Boston before, so it should be so much fun. I feel like I am becoming a jetsetter. First, New York, then Boston, and then in the summer we are off to Virginia Beach for 2 weeks. It will definitely be something to look forward to once I am back to work. However, I am not looking forward to leaving Biscotti for that long. I need to either find someone to come stay at my place or put him in a pet hotel and I'm not too sure he will go for that. He is also spoiled with having a fresh glass of water on our bathroom countertop, drinking water from my fingertips in the shower and sleeping on my pillow with me every night. I can't help it, I love the little guy so much. It will be difficult to leave him. I always tear up when I go away. And he really misses us when we are gone too. Anyone want to come cat sit in a nice condo downtown? lol I better start looking into that before it stresses me out. I'm sure Biscotti will be just fine as well. I shouldn't worry so much about these things or else I'll end up becoming a hermit. Yikes.

Here are some pics from our trip to NYC. We shopped until we dropped - literally. And James didn't even complain once! My feet are still aching and it's been a week since we've been back. I think I actually got sick of shopping once our trip was over. But who am I kidding, I'll be back to normal once I hit the stores in Boston next week! hehe

Still waters

When it comes to bath time, Cam gets so unbelievably excited. As soon as he hears the shower or bath run, he boots it right to the bathroom. He is becoming more and more like Biscotti everyday. (If only he would grow some hair). hehe Every night, we think ok, this will help him calm down for bed and he'll have some fun time and get to bond with his dad. Boy are we wrong. Every night, as Cam gets excited for his bath, it ends up being such a struggle (for us as the parents). You see, Cam is one of those babies who doesn't like to be contained, strapped in seats, sitting still or not being able to move - this includes in the bath tub. Why can't he just sit there and enjoy playing with his toys like normal babies in the tub? He is constantly standing and crawling and grabbing at the faucets, the drain and all our products on the shower caddy. And when I tell him to sit down, he just laughs and thinks it's funny. (What a guy!) I'm surprised he hasn't really gotten hurt yet from all the tumbles. Needless to say, his bath time has now been cut short due to his lack of cooperation and inability to follow the rules of the water. As I recall during one our swim classes when he and all the other babies had to go in this boat, he was the one that had to climb overboard. I hope this doesn't mean that he will be the one to break all the rules? He certainly is keeping me on my toes. It's a wonder why I haven't lost all the baby weight by now. Anyway, I hope one day he will calm down and enjoy a peaceful bath that lasts longer than 5-10 minutes but for now we'll just have to keep up with the tides. 

No sympathy

I thought I would try something a little different today. Most of the time when Cameron falls or takes a tumble or Biscotti swats or scratches him, the plan is not to react. If you react, then he will usually cry. If you laugh it off or redirect the focus, everything is fine and he just smiles or continues on with his day. So as Cam pulled open the stove drawer on my big toe, (ouch!) I wanted to see how he would handle my reaction, so I fake cried. Apparently to him that is funny. I thought he may look at me and want to give me a hug, but he wasn't having it. He laughed it off. There was no sympathy going to come from him at all. Maybe he is just doing what I do to him? A taste of my own medicine perhaps? All I was looking for was a little hug or even a snuggle. Maybe next time... or maybe when he actually understands it all. One day. 

But speaking of snuggles, I have recently become very fond of his snuggles before bed and just as of last week he has fallen asleep with me while lying in bed when we were at James' parents' place. Since he now has trouble going to sleep in the pack and play, I have discovered he will fall asleep with mommy lying down in bed with him. I love these precious moments. It could be that since I have given up breastfeeding that this way I feel that bond with Cam again and that he still does need me during his most vulnerable times. I will treasure these moments and hold on to them as long as I can. That is, just as long as it doesn't become a habit where this is the only way he will fall asleep. ;)

TGI..M?!

I've come to like Mondays and sometimes even wish for the weekend to be over just so that they come even more quickly. I am crazy? Well I would be if I was still working and wishing for Monday but since I am off, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is for me. So the reason for my Monday obsession is tv. I have a line up of 3 shows that night to watch and get so excited. Tonight is the final episode of the bachelor. Yes, I watch the bachelor. Sad I know, but I suppose you could call it my guilty pleasure. And I know there are others out there who watch the same thing, cause always when it comes to the last episode, everyone's status on facebook changes after the person chooses. It's quite amusing actually. Anyway, I just had to get that out there, cause I am anticipating for it to be 8pm and it's only 10:30 in the morning.

So now onto other exciting stuff. Today Cam is 10 months old. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. In 2 months he will be 1 years old! Eeeek. That is such a huge milestone and I am already thinking about his birthday party. I want to make it really special for him even if he won't remember it. But speaking of remembering, this past weekend, James was over at his parents and they were watching old videos of when they were young. James was so happy to have those and to be able to look back at the way they were, their hairstyles, voices and how they gave their dad a chocolate bar for his birthday and then a cd holder. Boy times have changed. We both thought we should start taking more videos of Cam so that he too can one day sit down and watch them and see what he was like as a child. I've taken a few videos so far and with Cam's birthday approaching, I get more and more excited about filming that special day and see his reaction to everything that goes on. These are the moments that I look forward to experiencing and sharing with loved ones. As I was lying in bed last night, I kept going over and over the videos of Japan's earthquake disaster and devastation and cannot even fathom what that country is going through and the amount of loss and suffering. With Cam now in my life, I have such a different perspective on life and how much he needs James and I, so to think that mothers and fathers and childrens' lives have been lost or forever changed is just so heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those suffering right now.

Care